Luggage Theory

As I am about to embark on a half-round the world journey in the role of  passenger (and also since I’m stuck on an unexpected overnight with nothing but a pilot costume and an iPad), it seems like a good time to share an observation I’ve made about travelers and their luggage.

This imminent trip will put me over a million miles as a passenger/customer just on my favorite airline.  That and the last 13 years alternating as an airline pilot and a VIP charter pilot has found me trying to occupy the same space as somebody else’ luggage often enough to draw a conclusion.

The occasional traveler will often overpack, especially those who are obsessed with having multiple matching shoe options for the six outfits they brought for the weekend.   Their travel adventures are simply not frequent enough (or painful enough) to impel them to pack, as well as equip themselves, to travel more lightly.

Backpack travelers are usually packed in fairly compact and, I presume, reasonably light packages.  Actually how austere their lifestyle is on the road, I don’t profess to know but I seldom see any really giant backpacks.  When I do, I chuckle and think that it will surely be lighter by the time they get home!

Seasoned business travelers and those who travel for a living (such as airline crews) are usually packed pretty light, knowing exactly how many pairs of underwear and socks are necessary for the length of the trip and they know how to mix and match outfits to maximize space and minimize weight.  Oh you still sometimes run across the multiple matching shoes crowd who diligently keep their fashion ducks in order and it’s OK because the weight of all those shoes on one side of the bag is offset by the economy-sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner on the other.

VIP travelers pack like every trip is a two-week dash across the Atlantic on the Titanic.  I haven’t come upon any actual steam trunks but I regularly see conventional looking suitcases big enough to make a steam trunk look like a carry on!  You really have not lived until you’ve met a Louis Vuitton bag you cannot lift by yourself.

My many and varied encounters with people and their baggage led to the postulation of a theory that would eventually become, “Carl’s Law of Luggage.” Which says:

“The size and weight of an individual’s luggage is inversely proportional to the amount of time and distance they are expected to actually carry it themselves.”

Thanks for reading.

cma

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This marks the first column I’ve written solely on the iPad.